IUI's, 2 Week Waits & First Failed Attempt :(

Hi Everyone,

I thought I would give you just a quick update on everything, and where we are at on our TTC journey!

So Friday 24th January, I had my very first IUI!! It wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be to be honest, it seemed to be over in a jiffy!! I'm not going to go into to process of the IUI but what I do want to talk about in this post is the dreaded 2week wait and how to take things if it doesn't work out for you :(

So lets start with the 2 week wait....this is the time between ovulation and "Aunt Flow" arriving or taking a HPT (home pregnancy test). Its a horrible, emotional, stressful time that I'm certainly not going to sugar coat for you! I see some people write about " What to do in your two week wait to take your mind off things" ....believe me no matter what you do your mind is never off the fact that you might or might not be pregnant! 
I tried many things in my two week wait from baking macaroons, to playing on the sims (and this didn't help at all because I ended up making mine and Andrews sim characters having like 6 babies and it just got me upset that its not quite as easy as jumping under the covers while a load of rose petals and heart circle the bed !......if you have ever made a baby on the sims you will know what I mean lol) I even try to loose myself in my favourite programmes but everything I was watching seem to be about kids or babies or giving birth!!!! I swear it was all happening on purpose just because I was trying to forget about babies!. 
My point is no matter what advice you are given for your two week wait everyone is different and some activities may occupy you that didn't occupy me but if you do find something that seems to take your mind off things then continue it! because nothing is worse than for two whole weeks of your life, constantly thinking about it, constantly googling symptoms, constantly reading IUI success stories where its worked first go for women and hoping that will be you in two weeks time! seriously it will drive you crazy! I kind of got there with this 2 week wait......

It consumes you, takes over your life, and you don't realise it until the two weeks is up and you look back and think "wow them two weeks actually flew over and for every single day I have been nothing but miserable, on edge, angry, frustrated, depressed and anxious". It makes it 100 times worse when on the day before testing you get the dreaded Cramp......so you google it (naturally) types into google......
"Is it normal to get cramp the day before Aunt Flow is due even if you could be pregnant?".....
There is lots of answers come up and you find yourself obsessively scrolling through all of them hoping that you your answer that yes you can still get pains but still be pregnant ! and I did get lots of answers like that, but something told me inside that it hadn't worked, that this was it tomorrow il be faced with the dreaded bloated belly, chocolate craving cycle day 1 .....again!

So If you haven't already guessed our first IUI has been a big fat failure ! but there is only so much crying you can do, and If there is something I have learnt from this failure is to not get so stressed or anxious about it all the next time round! I know, easy said then done right? but I have to take my own advice other wise I will have to go through all this craziness again ....and I don't think I can physically and mentally put myself and Andrew through it all again.
I'm not saying were giving up, I'm certainly not giving up but I now know what to expect from the 2nd IUI and I'm going to take a laid back approach to it.....if it doesn't work again then we may go straight to IVF instead of doing a third IUI but we need to discuss this more.

Well I'm going now so I can eat my chocolate and drink my wine (that I haven't had for a month "just in case!" )



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